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More cliche variants

Instead of "quiet as a mouse", Keith said "quiet as a ninja mouse."

Instead of "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride", I said:

  • "Always an aunt, never a mother."
  • "Always a pig, never bacon."

See more of our warped sayings.

Other suggestions always welcome.


More warped sayings and words

In a previous post, I provided my favorite warped sayings, such as "more fun than a bowel full of monkeys". Here are a few more:

  • "There wasn't a dry seat in the house."
  • "An apple a day keeps Newton away."

Here are some word tweaks:


What, quite unmann'd in folly?

I saw this bumper sticker in the Google parking lot:

In case of DARPA challenge, this vehicle will be unmanned.

Don't get it? It's a reference to the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) challenge to build a vehicle capable of driving itself and, of course, to the Christian bumper sticker, "In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned."


What's wrong with this picture? #1

Today we received a mailing from the San Francisco Democratic Party, part of which is scanned above. The only alteration I made was blanking out Keith and my address.


Freudian slips

From Martha Barnette's blog, the London Guardian ran a correction (Feb. 6, 2008):

Whether the romance of the French president and Carla Bruni was very pubic only they can say. We meant to say it was very public (Sarkozy marries royally with Versailles wedding night, page 15, February 4).


It's not the same.

Keith and I were listening to a radio show together when the host exhorted people to send in their comments:

Host: We read all your emails.
Keith starts laughing.
Ellen: What's so funny?
Keith: Do you know how mad people would be if Google said that?

The clbuttic mistake

The use of search-and-replace can lead to entertaining reading, such as this classic from the July 21, 1990, Fresno Bee via Herb Caen via Peter van der Linden:

An item in Thursday's Nation Digest about the Massachusetts budget crisis made reference to new taxes that will help put Massachusetts 'back into the African American.' That item should have said 'back in the black.'


Satire: Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes

Keith and I were amused by the Onion headline "Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes" but didn't watch the video or decide to post it until finding out that people were asking Snopes if the story was true.


FARK's top wordplay headlines of 2007

Link site FARK is known for the clever headlines used to point to interesting articles. [Warning: crude language ahead.] Their top wordplay headlines of 2007 included:


Bon mots

[After watching our nieces play with a Wii]

Ellen: Apparently, the physics simulation on the Wii is so advanced that it's even more accurate than real life.

[Discussing the week's news]

Ellen: Hillary Clinton criticized Barack Obama for trying drugs when he was younger.

Keith: As opposed to trying them but not inhaling?

[On a Chicago Hauntings Tour that our niece wanted to attend; we are more skeptical]



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